Breach Of Contract

┬áStorming into his lawyer’s office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once against his new bride. “What’s the problem?” asked the lawyer. “I want to hit that adulterin’ witch for breach of contract,” says the oil man. “I don’t know if that will fly,” said the lawyer. “I mean your wife …

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Short Ones

My sister is asthmatic. Last week in the middle of an attack she got an obscene phone call. (pause) He said, “Did I call you or did you call me?” Define Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary! Why is being in the military like a blowjob? The closer you get …

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Is Everything Big In Texas

A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new “city” outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and, when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, he answered, “Yes ma’am. Ya see, I’m from Texas and I want to buy a complete city outfit.” Her eyes lit up as …

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Strict Policy

Strict Policy A Texan arrives at a New York Hotel, checks in and tells the desk clerk to send up a bottle of good whiskey and a woman to his room. In a short while, someone knocks on his door. When he opens it, there stands an attractive lady in a Salvation Army uniform. He …

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