Facelift!

 A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a face-lift. “Well,” says the doctor, “I can do the facelift, and then you’ll have to come back in six months for a follow-up.” “Oh, no.” the woman replies. “I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come back.” The …

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Doctor’s Orders

Doctor’s Orders I just had a heart transplant and was getting instructions from my doctor. I was placed on a strict diet, denied tobacco and alcohol, and advised to get at least eight hours sleep a night. “What about my sex life?” I asked. “Will it be all right for me to have intercourse?” “Only …

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Comments On A Rather Large Nose

Comments On A Rather Large Nose (From the movie “Roxanne“, starring Steve Martin) 1. Obvious: Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? 2. Meteorological: Everybody take cover. She’s going to blow. 3. Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger. Like… Wyoming. 4. …

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