Hypnotist At The Senior Center

It was entertainment night at the senior center, and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude went to the front of the  meeting room, he announced, “Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put …

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Senior Citizen Pickup Lines

7> “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like… where exactly are we again?” 6> “Do you smell that? That’s either love, or I used too much ointment this morning.” 5> “Yes, I’m 92… but I have the body of a 78-year-old.” 4> “WHO’S your grand daddy?” 3> “Your beautiful blue eyes …

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Nudist Colony

Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: “Sir, did you call for me?” Bob replies …

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Bartender Revenge

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. “Certainly, sir, that’ll be 1 cent.” “ONE CENT!” exclaimed the guy and the barman replied “Yes.” So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks “Could I have a nice juicy T-Bone steak, with …

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The Widow and the Toad

A widow was feeling rather lonely and decided that the best thing for her would be to have a companion. So, off she went to the pet shop. She wasn’t sure just what kind of pet she’d like, so she figured she’d just walk around until she found just the “right one.” She went past …

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