The Perfect Day

PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN 8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses 8:30 Weigh 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday 8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants 9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out …

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All Over Tan

There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. So he decided to do something about that. He went to …

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Mermaid

A young man was walking on the beach one day and spied another man sunning himself on a beach towel. He noticed that the man’s body was proportionately larger than his head and was caught staring when the sunning man opened his eyes. “I’m sorry,” the young man said, “I don’t mean to stare but …

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Shipwrecked

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life — until the boat sank. He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies… nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he …

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Bathing Suit Dilemma

Bathing Suit Dilemma A married couple are at the beach sitting on a blanket. A man with a body of a dancer wearing a bikini swimsuit walks by. Husband: Hmm… Want ME to wear a Speedo? Wife: No. Husband: Why not? I’ve got nothing to hide. Wife: That’s the problem. =========================== “I know what I …

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